If you’ve ever felt abandoned by a parent or guardian in your life –like you may have missed out on some things growing up as a child because of a parent(s) not being there–, you are not alone.
There is hope.
I grew up in a single-parent home. It was just me, my mom and two older brothers. Growing up as a little girl wasn’t so bad. I mean, we had some challenges here and there, some good times and some bad, but what family doesn’t? Overall, we had a lot to be grateful to God for.
Growing up without a father around had its disadvantages, I guess. My natural father was around in the early part of my life until I was about 7 or 8 years old. He wasn’t that involved in my life then. Unfortunately, things didn’t work out between him and my mom, and when he left our lives, he never returned.
I never saw him again. I don’t have old photos of my dad anywhere. If I were to look him in his face now without being told it’s him, I wouldn’t know it’s him. I was too young to even remember what he looked like.
I had my moments where I questioned why he left. What was wrong with me, what did I do, that caused him to leave and not want to see me again? Of course, feelings of rejection began to creep in. I have forgiven my dad for walking out of our lives. Not sure what was going on in his life at that time, but I have prayed for him, believing that he knows the Lord for himself. God is so good and loves us so much. I know He forgave my dad and loves him more than I ever could.
My mom holds a very special place in my heart. I love and honor her so much for giving her all to raise us. To the best of her ability, she raised three children without a dad around. I love that she always gives credit to God for enabling her to do so. But looking back now, I realize that God kept us and protected us from a lot of heartache and pain.
God Steps In
To make a long story short, let me fast forward to 2017:
A very well-known and prominent leader came to the Chicagoland area in August that year for an annual event. The final evening of the event, I got a chance to meet this prominent leader. In my opinion, he was very humble and personable. I briefly shared with him how his teachings had impacted my life and that I was a graduate of the school he founded. After we talked briefly, I took a picture with him and proceeded to the back of the auditorium to my seat.
When I got there, I noticed that one of my classmates was heading in my direction. When he came over to me, he said that there was a vacant seat up front beside him and his wife, and that I could sit with them. At first, I thought, “no, I should stay where I am.” I wanted to be by myself, but the Holy Spirit said to go up and sit with them. So I did!
The praise and worship portion of the event had begun. The place was filled with so many people, so much energy and excitement. I began to feel overwhelmed with a warm presence. I knew it was God! His presence and love overflowed over me as we were singing songs of adoration to Him. I began to weep –my heart was so full–and I could feel God’s love all over me.
I felt my soul being healed and restored little by little from the pain, disappointments, and discouragement I had experienced in years past and in my current life.
As I continued crying, I closed my eyes and I saw a vision of a man sitting in a chair. Then I saw this little girl coming towards him. As she got closer to him, their eyes were fixed on each other as he was reaching out for her. I felt that there was this connection between them that could not be broken. Then I saw her sitting on his lap, laying her head on the right side of his chest. He began to wrap his arms around her as to comfort her. He spoke words of love and comfort to her, “I love you my precious little girl. I am pleased with you. I am here for you. Rest in my love for you.”
The Holy Spirit showed me that I was that little girl, resting in the loving arms of God. I missed that growing up. My natural father probably didn’t know how to show me that. Until now, I never knew what it was like to experience the love and affection of a father. Father God was showing me that He was always there for me.
During this time of the event, He told me that the Holy Spirit was going to paint more pictures of what the Father’s love looks like to me on my heart and that it would be in many forms. So, I just continued to cry like a baby, totally filled with joy and set free. Set free from thoughts and feelings of rejection, abandonment, low self-esteem and failure; released into knowing that I am very much loved, accepted, wanted and never alone.
I will never forget that time in my life. It will always serve as a reminder to me of how present and how intimate, loving and caring God is.
Loved, Accepted, Wanted, and Never Alone
I want to bring comfort to you if you have not or are not experiencing the joy of having a relationship with either of your parents. You are not alone, nor are you rejected and unwanted. You are loved and accepted by God. No one can love you like our God can. He loves you so much. He is and will always be there for you, no matter what. There isn’t a time you can’t go to God and there isn’t a time you aren’t on His mind. You are God’s favorite. You are God’s favorite! You are greatly loved and He promises to never leave you nor forsake you.
In no way am I belittling what we went through without either parent(s) in our lives, but I once heard a preacher say, “what your parents didn’t teach you, God will.”
Our parents are not perfect and don’t have all the answers. They did and are doing their best. When we allow Father God to come into our hearts and persuade us of His love for us, healing, restoration, wholeness and new beginnings can begin.
If you are struggling with forgiving a parent(s) for abandoning you, ask the Father to help you understand things from their perspective; whatever that may be. Ask Him to help you make that step of forgiving and releasing , and He will.
If you have a parent who is still in your life, but there are issues between you, ask Father God to show you how to reconcile the relationship. He will!
Forgiveness is a vital part of any relationship. God has forgiven us and therefore has empowered us to forgive others. I am a firm believer that God is a God of relationships and that He is not in the business of destroying families, but restoring them.
If you have any questions or comments, please feel free ask/mention them at the end of my blog. I would love to share and pray with you.
Here are a few scriptures to chew on as a reminder that God has not forgotten us. He has promised to never leave us or forsake us.
Psalm 27:10 “Although my father and my mother have forsaken me, yet the Lord will take me up [adopt me as His child].”
Romans 8:16 “The Spirit Himself [thus] testifies together with our own spirit, [assuring us] that we are children of God.”
Ephesians 2:4 “But God–so rich is He in His mercy! Because of and in order to satisfy the great and wonderful and intense love with which He loved us…”
Hebrews 13:5 “Let your character or moral disposition be free from love of money [including greed, avarice, lust, and craving for earthly possessions] and be satisfied with your present [circumstances and with what you have]; for He [God] Himself has said, I will not in any way fail you nor give you up nor leave you without support. [I will] not, [I will] not, [I will] not in any degree leave you helpless nor forsake nor let [you] down (relax My hold on you)! [Assuredly not!]”
Till next time, rest in His love.